Filed under Satire

Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

Oslo posing in her new bathing suit

yogaonsiestabeach

Oslo posing in her new bathing suit

Advertisement

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






THE ARCTIC CIRCLE–“Do I look fat in all this fur?” Oslo the polar bear asked. “I know I have gained a few extra pounds recently and I have gotten pale but I’m working on it.”

For years a group of polar bears living in the Arctic Circle have distinguished themselves as avid advocates of global warming and have held multiple protests. This group, who call themselves the Polar Activists, have spent five of their 15 precious years living trying to expose the dangers of climate change and have finally decided to stop wasting their energy.

“A famous philosopher once said, ‘if no one is listening, stop yelling you stupid animal,’” Oslo said. “The holes in the ozone layer have made it possible for me to get that perfect tan and all the increased temperatures have helped me shed a few pounds.”

With all his newfound free time, the Polar Activists has taken up competitive diving, swimsuit competitions, and various tanning sessions. So the next time you see a brown bear cruising through your neighborhood, take a second look, it may just be a tan polar bear.

Print Friendly

Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




*

Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

    News

    A Day to Celebrate Our Home

  • Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

    Opinion

    To IB or Not to IB

  • Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

    Arts & Entertainment

    More Kahan Please

  • Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

    News

    Diversity to Unity

  • News

    How AHS Seniors Envision Second Semester

  • Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

    News

    School on a Mountain

  • Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

    News

    Jesse Hoffman Photographs His Way Through Life

  • Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

    Opinion

    Whats Next For The Women’s March

  • Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies

    Opinion

    What if we all stopped talking about politics?

  • Opinion

    7 Secrets to Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Stick

Polar Bears Accept Climate Change as Opportunity to Finally Perfect their Beach Bodies