School on a Beach?

Madison Thomsen, Staff Writer

April 1, 2017

Filed under Satire

ASPEN -- “School on the Mountain” committee, composed of teachers, parents, students, and administrators recently flew to California. As they stepped off the plane onto the lush sand beach, they immediately felt the joy o...

Jews Step Away from “Jews R Us” and into the World of “Jesus and Me”

Zoe Cramer, Junior Editor

April 1, 2017

Filed under Satire

ASPEN-- The Jewish community of Aspen might be a small one, yet a strong presence in the town. However, the synagogue, Jews R Us, hours changed to only 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., due to adolescents consuming too much challah and Manischewi...

Chipotle E Coli Outbreak: Hindering Illness or Weight Loss Opportunity for BFFs?

Zoe Cramer, staff writer

April 30, 2016

Filed under Satire

Some might perceive the Chipotle Mexican Grill E Coli outbreak as an abominable mishap of what is supposed to be considered a healthy alternative for fast food. This is not the case for teen best friends Amber Shields and Katy ...

AHS Students Embrace New Schedule Wholeheartedly

Olivia Oksenhorn, Editor

April 11, 2016

Filed under Satire

After it was announced that the schedule will change next year, the student body and staff have appeared to be ecstatic and elated. Students have been witnessed celebrating the new schedule hanging the mock schedule up in their...

Vape God Becomes Vape King

April 11, 2016

Filed under Satire

It was a casual Thursday afternoon when Aspen’s own vape god, Johnny E. Cig, decided to run for AHS prom king. After three months of vigorous campaigning including hanging up signs to promote his Vape for Life Club and hand...

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