The student news site of Aspen High School

THE SKIER SCRIBBLER

The student news site of Aspen High School

THE SKIER SCRIBBLER

The student news site of Aspen High School

THE SKIER SCRIBBLER

Rating the Best Early 2000s Red Carpet Looks

Rating the Best Early 2000s Red Carpet Looks

Hannah Smith, Editor-in-Chief April 1, 2022

SATIRE--According to Harper Bazaar, when it comes to fashion's past, it's easy to get inspired by elegant silhouettes of the '50s, the platform shoes of the '70s, or even the distinct denim of the '90s....

Redhead insurrection at the Capitol

Redhead insurrection at the Capitol

Beau Toepfer, Staff Writer April 1, 2022

SATIRE -- In the wake of the January 6, 2021 capitol insurrection, a group of militarized redheads stormed and took control of the capitol building on the one year anniversary. What started out as a peaceful...

Jeff loves using Pinterest to get inspiration for room decor.

Jeff Bees announces plan to capture moon

Harper Axelman, News Editor April 1, 2022

SATIRE -- Jeff Bees, the founder of Amazin’ and Green Origins, is reportedly planning his biggest venture yet, to catch one of the most iconic objects in earth’s sky: the moon. Bees’ motivations...

Skiers skiing on a summer day

No Snow, No Problem, Aspen and Climate Change

Beau Toepfer, Staff Writer April 1, 2022

SATIRE -- Aspen’s winters are getting warmer and warmer, but the city is not worried. On February 30th, the city will meet to talk about the best plan for having year round summers. The biggest question:...

Students fighting over parking spots in ALS parking lot.

Lack of Parking Spots Starts Fights

Andie Sherman, Staff Writer April 1, 2022

SATIRE-- Two weeks ago the Aspen Low School, and the NARC cracked down on student parking. Reasons as to why…the ALS administration and NARC were watching too much reality TV, and felt like creating...

Faux News: Entertainment over Science

Faux News: Entertainment over Science

Oceane Jones, Opinion Editor April 1, 2022

SATIRE-- Recently, the conservative news site Faux News unveiled a new Equity Campaign, where they recognized that although in the past, they have shown discriminatory behavior on the basis of gender,...

ALS senior is stressed after failing finals.

Seniors drop out of school during first semester

Bo Melton, Staff Writer April 1, 2022

SATIRE -- The class of ‘22 are tired of school. Following the 2020/21 school year, the seniors came back completely lost, and seemingly went into the 2021-22 school year knowing nothing mostly because...

Breeding Olympians

Stella Iverson, Staff Writer April 1, 2022

SATIRE-- The Olympics are one of the most popular things to watch. Those amazing athletes are absolutely astonishing people. From the GOAT to a human fish.. But as of late the Olympic Committee has come...

IPad kid and avid Fortnite player on Kinder

Kinder App for Kids

Bo Melton, Staff Writer April 1, 2022

SATIRE-- Aspen School district has had a deficit of social experience and connection since the beginning of Covid in March 2020. The pandemic has limited many students from finding successful connections....

Bart Simpson actively being sued by the FBI

FBI Sues “The Simpsons” After Big Secret in Episode 718

Hannah Smith, Editor-in-Chief April 1, 2022

SATIRE -- From the Ebola virus outbreak in 2014 to the creation of autocorrect and smartwatches, “The Simpsons” have accurately predicted events of the future. However, while impressive in the past,...

The birds are always watching

Clouds are not real movement has arrived

Quintessa Frisch, Staff Writer April 1, 2022

SATIRE --The Birds Aren’t Real movement has proven to be the most principled and trustworthy movement of 2022. However, the U.S. Government has been keeping a major part of this concealed. The majority...

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