THE SKIER SCRIBBLER

Trump Introduces New Pre-professional Kindergarten Business Model

Trump Introduces New Pre-professional Kindergarten Business Model

Vicente Lagarrigue, Staff Writer

March 23, 2016


Filed under Satire

Recently, supporters of the Republican candidate Donald Trump have been getting very excited for the presidential elections. It seems like he's going to be placed as the forerunner for the Republicans, and soon there might possibly be a Trump in the White House. Donald Trump is a businessman, politician,...

AHS Transforms Into Boarding School To Improve Math Standardized Test Scores

AHS Transforms Into Boarding School To Improve Math Standardized Test Scores

Sam Kahn, Staff Writer

March 23, 2016


Filed under Satire

Today class was interrupted when a bulldozer barreled through the English department after principal Karyn Blueberry unveiled a viable solution to help improve AHS math standardized test scores. Led by an academic scheduling expert Principal Blueberry hand picked from the administration of a small c...

The Rise of “After School” in AHS

The Rise of “After School” in AHS

Julia Haugan, Staff Writer

January 11, 2016


Filed under Satire

   The world of social media is growing all around us. With apps like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, we can connect to people in a totally different way. But another social media app “After School” is becoming really popular at our school.    After School is a social networking app last updated on Nov...

Freshmen Clean the Cafeteria!!!!!

Freshmen Clean the Cafeteria!!!!!

Kim Sandbach, Staff Writer

April 9, 2015


Filed under Satire

Due to the new housekeeping course that was added to the 9th grade curriculum this year, the cafeteria has been spotless after lunch for all of second semester. “I couldn’t believe my eyes!” Stanley Steamer, AHS longtime janitor said. “In all my ten years at AHS I have never seen such amazi...

AHS Young Communists Travel to North Korea

AHS Young Communists Travel to North Korea

Caroline DeRosa, Editor

April 9, 2015


Filed under Satire

With all the hype over the recent Young Republicans’ Club and Young Democrats’ Club popping on up the AHS campus, a few students have since taken the initiative to start up a club that does not necessarily fall within those boundaries. Two AHS students who prefer not to reveal their names due to...

JV Recruitment

JV Recruitment

Carson Friedland, Staff Writer

April 9, 2015


Filed under Satire

AHS student athletes Kim Sandbach, Tess Schaftel, and Ella Horn have recently been recruited by the University of Denver and Northwestern University from Aspen’s JV lacrosse team.  Being undefeated for the past five years and working on another undefeated year currently, this should come as no surprise....

Lululemon Takeover

Lululemon Takeover

Madison Osberger-Low, Staff Writer

April 9, 2015


Filed under Satire

Lululemon has been selected as the official clothing supplier for all AHS student uniforms. The popular retailer, easily identifiable by its horseshoe- like logo, could become as familiar as the Nike “swoosh” given its association with AHS, said company president Joanna Rockefeller. “We have...

AHS STUDENTS ALREADY PREPARING FOR EXCITING FUTURES

Harry Kahn, Staff Writer

April 7, 2015


Filed under Satire

In the modern day pedagogical system, the college admission process is a simple, straightforward experience. Admission to the most prestigious schools is pretty much guaranteed if students follow the rubric created by the Aspen High School college counseling office.  As explained by the AHS college...

Mr.P to Fight ISIS?

Charlie Van Allen, Staff Writer

April 7, 2015


Filed under Satire

As you all know, the iconic English teacher, Andy “Mr.P” Popinchalk, will be retiring at the end of this school year. The question is what will Mr.P do after 25 years of teaching English at AHS? In a recent interview he told me what he plans on doing, and it’s not what you’d expect. “On...

RFTA Announces New Schedule Changes

RFTA Announces New Schedule Changes

Nathaniel Karbank, News Editor

April 7, 2015


Filed under Satire

Roaring Fork Transportation Authority has recently implemented a new and improved schedule as of March 12. This allows drivers to leisurely wait around all day and decide the times that they think the buses need to run, with little to no adherence to the publicly posted schedules. Drivers began to picket...

The Final Standoff: Mr. P vs. Kirk

The Final Standoff: Mr. P vs. Kirk

Ryer Gardenswartz, Staff Writer

April 7, 2015


Filed under Satire

For the past 32 years, Mr. P and Kirk have ruled the school. They have been wandering the halls and giving out difficult test before we were even born. Heck, they probably were around when the famous breakfast bagel was invented. Students know them for their teaching, personality, and their countless...

What’s Your Horoscope?

Katherine Doherty, Design Editor

April 7, 2015


Filed under Satire

Aries: March 21-April 19 This month you will either meet your one true love or trip over a trash can while staring at another couple in love.   Taurus: April 20-May 20 This month you will become interested in a new hobby, like pottery or collecting used socks.   Gemini: May 21-June 20 ...