THE SKIER SCRIBBLER

Student Learns Last Week’s News Today!

Mackenzie Conner, Staff Writer

April 1, 2014


Filed under Satire

In the middle of one of Chris Bonadies’ lectures, Frank Smith was abruptly called to attention by the morning announcements that finally came on the PA system around 8:30. He learned that there had been an Earth Group meeting last Tuesday, following which the announcement suddenly cutout. By the...

Will Netflix Make You Smarter?

Will Netflix Make You Smarter?

April 1, 2014


Filed under Satire

It’s the night before the biggest exam of the year. Your choices are to either study the material until late at night and pray that the information sinks in before the morning, or to grab the nearest internet-connected IPod or computer and watch hours of your favorite TV series until your brain...

Ex Ed Lottery Sham Revealed

Ex Ed Lottery Sham Revealed

Harry Kahn

April 1, 2014


Filed under Satire

A recent investigation has revealed that the AHS Ex Ed lottery is corrupt and rotten to the core.  The Sherriff’s department, in conjunction with Alpine Legal Services, was tipped off by a group of disgruntled Aspen high school football players who had been assigned to a yoga retreat in Crestone,...

Ski Season Going Downhill

Mad Flow Mo, The Most Attractive Staff Writer

April 1, 2014


Filed under Satire

An unusual number of passes have been revoked on Snowmass Mountain this season for kids being “too gnarly”. The lack of care that students show while driving has transferred over to the attitudes of teen skiers. “I’m sick of all the young, “professional” skiers and snowboarders doing tricks,...