SATIRE– Due to high demand of the new COVID-19 vaccine, a clinic in Georgia was raided by armed military forces after low priority locals were vaccinated. The remaining vaccines were seized and the clinic was shut down.
Other raids occurred in the area to retrieve the vaccines that were given against the government’s will. Teachers, local business owners, and other community members were dragged out of their homes and work places to DC to undergo a procedure that removes as the vaccine from their bloodstreams.
Eye witness Methuselah Richard shared his experience.
“I was driving, and I heard sirens behind me, so I pulled over,” Richard said. “Military vehicles sped past to one of the cars in front of me. The armed officers broke the windows and dragged people out of the car. It was truly horrific.”
The idea of removing the vaccine spawned from a tweet government officials read on twitter saying, “If you hang people by their toes [due to the density of the vaccine to blood ratio] you can expel from the temple the vaccine by extracting it with a needle.”
Scientists discovered despite the backing evidence, the theory of removing the vaccine was not only impossible but unnecessary. Several lives were lost during this process but the officials who ordered the raids compensated the families with $50 starbucks gift cards as an apology for the inconvenience.