THE SKIER SCRIBBLER

Major Cancellations

Christmas, Easter, and the Tooth Fairy are some of the holidays that were cancelled due to COVID-19.
April 16, 2020

SATIRE -- Due to COVID-19, Don Trunk has added to the national list of event cancellations to help follow the stay at home guidelines. On Saturday, April 11th, President Trunk delivered a speech regarding...

Teachers receive pay raise

April 1, 2020

SATIRE - Just recently, AHS teachers received a salary increase of one million dollars per year. A couple of weeks ago, for an unknown reason, forty teachers requested substitutes on the exact same day...

Students sell Ex Ed points

April 1, 2020

SATIRE - AHS junior, Alex Honeycrisp, and four of his friends were recently caught selling ExEd points. The case will be taken to the U.S. Supreme Court in late March. The five suspects were caught cornering...

Toad becomes new sub

April 1, 2020

SATIRE - Due to the recent shortage of substitute teachers, the administration has had to come up with creative solutions, most notably, Toad, the service dog of ASD, becoming a substitute teacher. SATIRE...

Horoscopes

April 1, 2020

SATIRE - Horoscope Aries: I know that you are the first sign, just don't get all cocky, it doesn't make you better. Taurus: The stars are saying that you don’t like change, so I suggest that you...

Corona virus, inside Job?

Corona virus, inside Job?
April 1, 2020

SATIRE---Some new information has been leaked on Chinese twitter about new information about the real source of the coronavirus outbreak, Two months before Russian spies infiltrated 3 labs in a 30-mile...

Gun Girl turned socialist

April 1, 2020

SATIRE - Krent State Gun Girl, Katie Bonnet, Becomes Socialist in Lieu of free diapers. Recently, the 2020 Presidential Candidate, Hernia Panders, has added the push for free adult diapers to his political...

Is Kidz Bop taking over the world?

Is Kidz Bop taking over the world?
April 1, 2020

SATIRE - Since the early 2000’s the Kidz Bop Kidz have been slowly taking over the world with their covers of pop songs. From K-Pop to Rap, Kidz Bop has been sweeping the nation with their soul full...

SEE curriculum helps students emotionally

SEE curriculum helps students emotionally
April 1, 2020

SATIRE - Since its implementation in the 2018-2019 school year, the SEE curriculum has helped hundreds of students across AHS. Some even say it has changed their lives entirely. The SEE curriculum, SEE...

Students steal every student flies plane

Students steal every student flies plane
April 1, 2020

SATIRE - Tuesday afternoon two AHS students, who are to remain anonymous, stole and successfully flew one of the Every Student Flies Program’s planes all the way to La Paz, Mexico. These two students...

Seniors pleased with no school

Congrats Class of COVID-19! You deserve it, no cap.
April 1, 2020

SATIRE- March – Aspen, Colorado: The weather finally starts to warm, the long-awaited Spring sports seasons begin, and the increasingly unmotivated seniors eagerly await graduation. Having already been...

RETRACTED: TikTok brainwashes students to become Chinese soilders

April 1, 2020

Due to insensitive content, the Skier Scribbler Editorial team has decided to retract this article.

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