SATIRE-- On Tuesday, March 30th, during CREW, AHS students frightened the faculty with a violent protest. Three-hundred students gathered on the beach protesting the controversial CREW period. While the...
SATIRE-- Scientists from across the globe are studying a new phenomenon occurring for seniors at AHS. Hundreds of expert scientists from Harvard, Oxford, and Stanford have fled to Aspen to study what has...
SATIRE -- Alexander Occasional-Quartz supporters have hit the internet with the same enthusiasm as elementary school students who have been told they can win a $4 hat in exchange for raising hundreds of...
SATIRE-- With overcrowded hospitals and lack of medical supplies due to the pandemic, many are now opting out of traditional health care and are turning to the back alley medical clinic, Health CARE.
Health...
SATIRE-- This spring break provides everyone with the beautiful opportunity to get out of Aspen and travel the world! Why stay in the house when you could be roaming the streets of Rome or exploring the...
With Coronavirus cases rising and vaccines being distributed, travel is on everyone's mind right now. The Snowboarder Scribbler thinks that everyone should book flights now and take advantage of the low...
SATIRE -- As if testing, essay writing, and interviewing wasn’t enough work, students will now be assessed on their survival skills with the first ever College Acceptance Hunger Games (CAHG) to simplify...
SATIRE-- Thursday at 9 am, AHS students joined their virtual classes with their cameras on and, to the surprise of AHS teachers, kept them on throughout the day.
AHS principal Sarah Strasshotdog attributed...
SATIRE -- Mono. Chair. Unclean. Such celebrities are a sampling of a diverse, successful, fascinating group, united by one common factor; these superstars only need one name for instant global recognition....
SATIRE-- Pres. ByeDen’s administration has introduced new infrastructure to America since his inauguration and one of these new changes is his animal shelter. After his two rescued dogs took the internet...
SATIRE-- As the school year is coming to an end, new classes are available for the fall semester of 2021. Students are eager to select classes that have never been offered before that provide useful skills...
SATIRE-- Ever find yourself in a breakout room, practically scratching your eyes out due to boredom. Does your partner have their camera off? Are you even participating? Most likely not. If you ever find...
