SATIRE — After guest speaker Gordon Rumsey visited Chris Bonocheese’s ProStart class, the dining experience at AHS has improved immensely. Though AHS’s addiction cookies and legendary chicken curry never go unappreciated, students have made the AHS cafeteria one of the best restaurants in town.

Though many students have experienced Rumsey’s intense culinary criticism, the rest of AHS is benefiting with the full course meals now offered. Some students have decided to stay full time in the kitchen instead of attending class.

Sarah Strasshotdog, the president of AHS, is thrilled about the changes to the dining experience and is even considering opening the school to the public as a restaurant.

“The kids have done something really great here,” Strasshotdog said. “I don’t even care that students are ditching class. I think it’s time we open AHS up to be more than just a school and show the world what food should really taste like,”

AHS student and regular customer, Chloe Summerfield, has been caught smuggling leftovers from her meal into her backpack for her afternoon classes.

“It’s just such good food I can’t survive Steve Sandman’s class without it. Plus I think it should be shared with everyone. Hopefully the ProStart team will start catering our school events,” Summerfield said.

One of the ProStart cooks, Chef Hank Swooney, is so excited to be able to share his gift with the entire school.

“It’s really great that everyone loves our food. I’m just thankful that I can do what I love and still graduate from high school. Pancakes for all of my teachers usually keeps my grade high enough,” Swooney said.

After a few months of training the ProStart team, Rumsey returned to test out the students’ widely discussed success. He mentioned in an interview with the Antibody Exposé that he gave these chefs a 5 star Michelin rating, and that’s on the 3 star scale! AHS is so proud of these young cooks and a special thank you goes to Bonocheese who gave the staff and students the dining experience they deserve.