SATIRE — Alexander Occasional-Quartz supporters have hit the internet with the same enthusiasm as elementary school students who have been told they can win a $4 hat in exchange for raising hundreds of dollars for their school. Her fans have gone absolutely feral and have formed subcultures online to discuss, theorize, and create conspiracy theories.

In an exclusive interview, devout supporter of A0C, Brian Washed, spoke about their newest theory that A0C will actually become president on April 1st. This theory has been supported because April 1st marks the same day the House overruled Andrew Johnson’s veto on the Civil Rights Bill of 1866.

“Look, okay. It all makes perfect sense,” Washed said, “A0C will rise to power and take over the country. It’s what needs to be done. We already know that there’s some underground trafficking ring for rare mushrooms, only found in Italy, and A0C is going to stop it!”

In regards to the underground mushroom trafficking ring, A0C has not taken a definitive stance on the issue. In an interview with the Core Upt Press, Occasional Quartz was asked directly about the situation.

“I don’t know much about the movement besides that they like me very much,” Occasional-Quartz said. “I heard that these are people that really love our country!”

Despite internet movements and protests around the country against A0C, her followers continue to support her. There have been two impeachments held that called for her resignation from her current place as the U.S. Representative for New York’s 14th Congressional District. However, she still is hoping to overthrow the current government and Make Young Americans Strong Soon (MYASS).

The story will continue to develop over time, but hopefully Americans come to a general agreement through peace and communication.