Water bottles, in the past, were a very useful tool for hydrating on the go. Yet, in 2024 water bottles have become more of an emotional support method. You will find that almost every person carries a water bottle that matches them as a person, and their ideals for the world. These bottles range from stainless steel, non leakage bottles, to a plastic Smart Water that has been refellied countless times.
A Stanley Cup, and I am not referring to the masterpiece crafted and won by those in the NHL. No, I am talking about the over used, over priced, and unnecessarily large metal cups with a handle. These water bottle variants have taken over teenage girls all over the country.My heart broke a little when I saw Bass Pro had begun to sell them in their inventory. If you own a Stanley, I am assuming you’re out of money this month as you indulge in too many micro trends. I don’t see why you would want to buy such a heavy piece of metal to carry around everywhere you go, unless you’re just trying to get extra reps outside of the gym. Walking through the halls or anywhere else with a large number of people, you will witness countless people participating in the unspoken Stanley greeting. This is very similar to a ‘Jeep wave’. Those holding a Stanley walked passed one another raising their “glass” and then parted ways. If you purchased a Stanley you either got it because you didn’t wanna be left out or you purchased it as a self defense tool because we all know your fist isn’t strong enough to make a dent.
This nex contraption isa fan favorite, the Hydro Flask. This special bottle has been seeing success in the market since 2019, as they began to trend on VSCO. These water bottles do a great job of keeping your ice alive and water crisp, but are absolutely obnoxious. They are expensive for their capability. The loud crash when dropping a Hydro Flask can be heard within a 12 mile radius, give or take. If you currently use a Hydro Flask, you aren’t doing it for the trend as we left that (cough, cough) a couple years ago. You simply enjoy the bottle itself as it makes you think you are hydrated because it’s lasted all day. When in reality you haven’t had a single sip. You continue to purchase all the new lids because old ones just aren’t doing it for you anymore. All in all, you are a person looking to get hydrated and just can’t seem to part with your nonfunctional Hydro, luckily Hydro Flask doesn’t stop releasing new colors!
A refillable plastic water bottle. More often than not, you will find someone carrying along with them a gatorade bottle from the school’s cafe, refilled with water. Typically this person forgets a water bottle for school, but they find themselves quite thirsty by second period. If you find you fall into this category you are resourceful, forgetful, but resourceful. I admire your ability to track down an object to keep you hydrated but after four or five times you should start to see a pattern.
A Nalgene, in my opinion, is the tip top best water bottle you can have. Nalgene is efficient, cheap, and super easy to make your own. If you spot a Nalgene you will uncover how each one is personalized to the person caring for it. They usually have stickers but sometimes they are engraved with puff paint from a sports team gift. If you own a Nalgene, you are just trying to hydrate yourself more, but you got sick of trendy water bottles and remembered how great Nalgenes were on camping trips.
2024 has alerted how we as a population look at water bottles. I say we drop the trends, stop buying overpriced water bottles and continue to drink tap water.
