SATIRE – – Announced on early Sunday morning, Feb. 25, 2024, Aspen Company Ski is introducing plans to implement new summer skiing opportunities. Following the irregular snow conditions of the most recent season, Co. Ski plans to operate chair lifts and open runs during the summer season. This new terrain will be a tactical change, including areas of dirt, grass, meadows, and even mud!
“This grass terrain will provide an exceptional addition to the adaptiveness and all-around agility of our local skiers. We plan to offer these passes exclusively to locals and, if proven successful, we will open this new type of skiing to seasonal tourists in the following years,” CEO Chef Whippersnapper said.
At the base of every mountain, there will be areas to purchase these passes starting from May 30 to August 23. At a town hall city meeting, some local residents held concerns about the risks involved in falling and potential damage that could be done to equipment, such as chips by rocks as well as wildlife disruption.
“We understand that inherent risks are involved within this new opportunity. Similar to the regular winter season, it is upon the skiers to decide whether they are willing to take on the risks involved. As for the wildlife, we will work to avoid them, but if contact does occur, ask them how their families are doing. These interactions do not have to be awkward!” Whippersnapper said.
The requirement to ski this terrain involves having more than 15 years of general skiing experience and/or attending at least five summer ski school lessons to learn about the new techniques tactically needed in this terrain.
In an interview with a local townsperson Jezebel Julius Jaguar, they expressed their excitement about the upcoming summer opening.
“I am already pretty much the expert of all four mountains, and know every run like the back of my hand. I am extremely excited to be able to test my limits in this new and improved skiing,” Jaguar said.
Additionally, Co. Ski will offer a limited number of VIP passes to five individuals. These passes entail a special privilege to ski on tree runs that will be otherwise closed off to the public. These narrow runs create too much hazard for the majority of skiers as this terrain is being newly introduced, so, it will be offered to those who are distinctly skilled within the sport. More news is soon to come regarding this topic and possible discussion of simultaneous disc golf and ski action.