SATIRE — Outside the orderly and peaceful land of the staff and senior parking lot, is an auto-wasteland known as, The Rim. On The Rim, there are no rules, only cutthroat juniors and sophomores fighting for one of the few spots. Spots where cars are safe from stickers, tickets, and boots. Don’t even think about getting to school after eight, unless you want to gamble with trying to parallel park in between the worst parking jobs known to man.
Fights are common and often end in scratches, and I’m not just talking about the students but their vehicles too. These students have no mercy and will do whatever it takes to get their cars safely parked. Tires are slashed, and windows get smashed.
Mary Jane, a sophomore at AHS recounts a haunting encounter with an entitled junior searching for a spot at 8:10 in the morning.
“I knew as soon as I saw him swerve into the lot that I knew he would not be backing down. Some kids around me, including myself, sank into our seats to avoid being spotted. But, a sophomore new to The Rim’s hostility wasn’t so lucky. The sophomore was just starting to parallel park into a spot when the junior rushed up behind him, pushing his car back into the road and claiming it for himself. Simultaneously, a passenger leaned out of the junior’s car and keyed the entire right side of the sophomore vehicle!” Jane said.
Sadly these horrific events are commonplace. Since the school year began, there have been numerous reports of violence on The Rim. However, due to The Rim’s no man’s land status, AHS officials don’t feel the need to intervene. Parking Executive Officer, Sherly Temple, comments on AHS’s stance on the issue.
“If these students want to have a chance to park on campus without a pass, more power to them. The school will not ticket students along The Rim, but that also means that we will not deal with the recent increase in aggressive behavior. This is something that the students will have to resolve themselves,” said Sherly Temple.
For now, it seems that The Rim will stay the lawless semicircle of our campus. Sophomores and juniors who choose to park on its land must be prepared to endure the dangerous conditions that come with its accessible parking. Good luck to those brave individuals.
