The Beauty in Relationships
Growing together, growing apart, and growing into yourself

As we walk the halls of AHS, we are blessed with many people with whom we may be acquaintances, friends, or even have romantic relationships. Our social patterns lie five days a week at a minimum within the bounds of our 529 student population.
In a world of 7.951 billion people, how do we know who to pick to enrich our lives to the fullest? It is troubling to begin to grasp the number of possible relationships we can form in a lifetime. With hundreds of students at AHS alone, the potential for connection is vast. Yet, as we have all experienced, relationships — whether friendships or romantic can be just as discouraging as they are rewarding. So, how much effort should we put into forming these relationships, how hard should they be to maintain, and when is it time to move on?

Biological Impact

On a biological level, relationships profoundly affect our bodies and brains. When we have healthy relationships, our brains go through positive changes. For example, they release oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” and increase dopamine, which is associated with happiness. These neurochemicals reinforce feelings of closeness, trust, and overall well-being. Oxytocin is released during positive social interactions such as hugging, laughing, and having meaningful conversations. It fosters trust, strengthens social bonds, and promotes feelings of closeness and safety. This hormone is key in friendships and romantic relationships, helping reduce stress and promote emotional well-being.
Similarly, dopamine, the brain’s rewarding chemical, is released when we experience something pleasurable, like spending time with loved ones or achieving a goal. This chemical is closely linked to feelings of happiness and motivation, reinforcing positive behaviors that strengthen our relationships. In a healthy relationship, these neurochemical responses create a cycle of positive reinforcement: the more we engage in fulfilling connections, the better we feel, and the more we seek out those connections.
While these bonds can lift us up, unhealthy or toxic relationships can catalyze the opposite effects. Prolonged stress from difficult relationships leads to elevated cortisol levels, the stress hormone. Cortisol is meant to warn the body and help respond to stress, but when it is constantly elevated, it can have detrimental effects on both mental and physical health. High cortisol levels can lead to anxiety, depression, difficulty focusing, a weakened immune system, and an overall feeling of burnout. Recognizing warning signs is vital to understanding when a relationship may do more harm than good.
Loneliness and social isolation can be as damaging as chronic stress. Loneliness triggers feelings of physical pain in the same brain areas activated by actual bodily harm. This response is a biological reminder that humans are inherently social creatures wired to seek out and maintain connections. Long-term isolation can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders and can even affect cardiovascular health.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “Adults with strong social connections have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure, and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI)”. We experience reduced stress, improved self-esteem, and even longer life expectancy in healthy relationships. These biological effects emphasize how powerful human connections can be emotionally and physically.
Personal Identity

While we often focus on our relationships with others, the most crucial relationship in your life is with yourself. High school is when we are supposed to figure ourselves out, so we must take the proper steps to grow into who we want to be. Personal growth sometimes means stepping back from relationships that no longer serve you or recognizing when certain relationships hinder your personal development. You must prioritize your personal growth even when it feels difficult. Once you can take the step to understand yourself and what you need from the people around you, it will help you cultivate relationships that are healthier and more fulfilling. Actionable steps such as engaging in self-reflection, pursuing hobbies, and setting personal goals can enhance your self-awareness and, in turn, will help you identify qualities you value in platonic and romantic relationships. Taking the time to invest in yourself strengthens your self-esteem and prepares you for healthier future relationships.

Growing Together

At their finest, relationships are about mutual growth. The key relationships in your life are the building blocks of your character development. A healthy relationship allows both individuals to grow in positive and supportive ways. You challenge and support each other in reaching your goals while making space for personal ambition. Growing together means evolving as individuals while maintaining the connection that initially brought you together.

Growing Apart

But not all relationships are built to last. Growing apart from friends or romantic partners is a natural part of life, especially during formative years such as high school, where personal identities are rapidly developing and very malleable. As your interests shift, priorities change, or life experiences diverge, you may find that you no longer have as much in common as you once did. This change can feel overwhelming and painful, especially if the relationship or friendship once brought you immense joy. However, growing apart doesn’t have to mean conflict; it can be a slow realization that your paths no longer align. Understanding this shift as a natural part of the evolution of relationships makes this easier to grasp. When these relationships begin to fade, it is essential to reflect on the why. Are you moving in different directions? Are there unresolved issues that need to be addressed? How do you feel? These hard conversations will help lead to closure, helping both parties move forward with understanding and mutual respect.
Relationships require effort, but the energy and time you invest should be proportional to the benefits it brings you. A healthy relationship shouldn’t feel like a constant struggle. While disagreements and challenges are inevitable and normal, both parties should be equally invested in resolving conflicts and maintaining a positive dynamic. If a relationship feels one-sided or draining, reconsidering its significance in your life might be a good idea. Healthy relationships should support, uplift, and enrich your life, not drain it. Furthermore, communicating with your friends or partner about your needs and expectations is extremely important. Honest discussion is essential to help make sure both parties are content.
Knowing when to let go of a relationship is often the most challenging part. Sometimes, we hold onto people out of habit, nostalgia, or fear of being alone. But clinging to a relationship that no longer serves you is more harmful than good. Some signs that it is time to move on include feeling anxious or drained after interacting with them, experiencing repeated conflict without a solution, or realizing the relationship is holding you from growing.
Relationships are one of the most important aspects of being alive. The growth you can experience because of another person is extraordinary. It is part of our human condition to love. These relationships define us because they shape our character and are transformative. Whether through family ties, friendships, or romantic relationships, the connections we build shape our identities and help us navigate the complexities of existence.