SATIRE— Always High School accused of forcing students to join a political party: no room for independents. It has recently come to the public’s attention that AHS’s mandatory school issued chromebooks block various news outlets.

“It is like they are trying to turn our kids into mindless followers,” said an AHS mom at the most recent principal’s breakfast.

Many students became aware of this censorship this fall when they turned to the Old Cork Times Games to “save them from their excruciatingly boring teachers” said a Sophomore student who wishes to remain anonymous.

Worgle and other Old Cork Times Games took the world by storm over three years ago.

After the sophomore completed ‘The Biggie’, one of Old Cork Times’s most popular games, crossword puzzles, they decided to look for more crossword puzzles.

The student clicked on link after link and the same infuriating message began to pop up “ACCESS DENIED”.

AHS’s Chromebooks have an extension called Blocksi on them, which allows the school to block inappropriate content from student searches. Blocksi also denies access to games to ensure students are paying attention in class. AHS students and families have become aware that the only crosswords that are not blocked are the Old Cork Times ones, and one from WOLF News.

The Old Cork Times and WOLF News are leading news outlets on opposing sides of the political landscape. WOLF News is known for its extremist conservative opinions and the Old Cork Times is known as a voice for the liberals of the country.

“I just don’t understand why they would only give us access to two extremes. It is like they are forcing us to choose sides. What happened to being an independent?” said an AHS Senior who wishes to stay anonymous.

“It is already bad enough here [at AHS] with all of the extremists and people blindly following the left. Now your only option is to choose one side and stop paying attention to common sense and critical thinking” said an AHS Junior who wishes to stay anonymous.

Our country is facing division based on the two-party system, and many community members believe that ASH’s censorship will just teach students to continue the country’s division and closed-minded take on politics.

“AHS is forcing students to choose and mindlessly follow a party. Always High School is pumping out brainwashed extremists to ensure that the United States continues down its fragmented path to a civil war,” said an AHS teacher who wishes to stay anonymous.