My first month or so of searching for colleges was filled with despair and anxiety of not being able to find a school that fit my needs, so when I found one that was seemingly perfect, I was ecstatic. The ecstasy, however, lasted all of five minutes until I realized that there was no guarantee that I would get in.

However after quite a bit of online research and talking to many school representatives at the college fair is that it was actually incredibly easy to find a school that fit what I was looking for. I found about fifteen schools that looked like places I could easily imagine myself at for the next four years of my life. The harder part was realizing that out of these fifteen schools, two were fit schools (schools where I fit their average academic standings) and the rest were reaches. I realized that the road to college would most likely be a difficult and bumpy one.

Over Thanksgiving break, I began to look at and tour some of the colleges I was interested in on the East Coast. Through touring, I discovered that I would be happier on an urban campus, which narrowed down my list of schools significantly. One of the colleges I visited was Boston University, and I almost immediately fell in love. The campus was beautiful, and everyone there seemed to share a passion for the school, and there was an energy there that I didn’t find at any of the other schools I had visited. Academically, BU was everything I was looking for, but they couldn’t say the same for me. Applying regular decision, it would be a reach and early decision would be just barely a fit. As happy as I was to find a school I loved, the fact that only 32 percent of the students that applied were admitted was a bit daunting, seeing as approximately two thirds of applicants each year would receive a letter saying that Boston University would not be accepting them as a student that year.

When I mentioned my college woes and worries to AHS graduate and Colorado State University freshman Maria King, she assured me that I would be happy anywhere and that there were plenty of colleges out there where I would easily fit in. She went on to tell me that CSU was at the bottom of her list, yet she was incredibly satisfied there. Although her advice was comforting, I was still feeling fairly down about my chances after high school. Although I’m sure that there are plenty of places I would like, there’s something disappointing about having your dream school be one that you have a small chance of getting in to.

When applying to college, we are presenting ourselves on paper. We are test scores, grades, and a list of activities. Even the essay, the one chance we have to present ourselves as more than our resume, is limited. As students, we are products. There is so much more to people then can ever possibly be shown on paper, and it is difficult to face the fact that when we are applying to these schools, they will never have the opportunity to know the true person behind the statistics.

Since my tour of BU, I have been contemplating what I can do make myself be one of the 32 percent. I have realized that the only answer is to be the best person I can possibly be. I will never be someone other myself or someone “better” than myself, so I might as well be the best I can be. I suppose after that, the next step is to take a deep breath and ready myself to possibly cope with college disappointment.