As the height of the winter tourist season rapidly approaches, Aspen’s population of almost 7,000 locals brace themselves for a massive intrusion of almost 25,000 vacationers.  Spawning seemingly out of the thin Colorado air, Aspen’s quaint mountain town atmosphere will be replaced with a thick fog of Texan cigar smoke and a sea of expensive cowboy hats. While this incursion makes the resident population quake with fear every Christmas, it is truly possible to avoid the crowds and maintain a semblance of sanity.  Heed these few simple tips and tricks and you can live the life of a local during the holiday season and still enjoy the everyday comforts of home in Aspen.

Tip #1:  Rethink restaurants.

   As you may experience overcrowding in some of your favorite eateries during the tourist season, it is imperative to develop an open culinary mind. Some of the more centrally located restaurants will no doubt be overrun with bumbling tourists in furry apres ski boots.  In these moments, it’s time to branch out. For instance, due to its convenient central location in the Aspen mall, the ever popular and delicious New York Pizza is often the victim of perpetual tourist infestation. The solution for this problem is simple: Cross Main Street.  Taster’s may be an extra two minute excursion, but the slice is just as delicious, and well worth the walk in order to circumvent the painful conversation initiated by naive tourists trying to cope with the altitudinal effects of alcohol.  Additionally, don’t be afraid to try new places. Zocalito, an under-the-radar restaurant located just across the mall from NYP, is a much more laid-back spot.  The Oaxacan cuisine is delectable, and it features a much more tolerable local to tourist ratio.    

Tip #2:  Beware of Belly Up.

   During the offseason, Belly up is characterized by a mellow, predominantly local crowd and an immensely intimate concert venue. However, predictably, during the tourist season, this sense of a peaceful escape is completely diminished.  The relaxed local crowd is replaced by either a flock of over excited and pugnacious first time pot smokers, or a bland mosh pit of middle-aged, overconfident and inebriated dancers who seem more appropriately dressed for a chinchilla fur fashion show than a concert. Additionally, if planning to make the questionable decision to catch a show at the Belly Up over winter break, be prepared for war. Avoid wearing white as there is a much higher chance of getting Pabst Blue Ribbon spilled on your new shirt than catching even a glimpse of the performers.

Tip #3: Ski selectively.

   During winter break, the ski hills normally enjoyed by locals seeking a few peaceful turns in relatively untracked terrain suddenly transform into a jungle death match of gaper gaps and rental ski yard sales. This winter break, do your clavicles a favor by avoiding the tourist-ridden terrain parks as much as possible.  If you’re looking for the least tracked and tourist-free location, Highlands is your best bet.  Temerity, in particular, never gets wildly busy. Frankly, the majority of tourists can’t handle the steep terrain.  Also, consider hitting the slopes early in the morning and stay off the bottom of the mountain to avoid long lift lines. Waking up an hour early is well worth the hour saved waiting behind a poleless forty-year-old wearing only a neon purple gator on his head any day.

Tip #4: Pretend to love them!

   As annoying and foolhardy as they may be, tourists are the lifeblood of our economy here in Aspen. Suppress the desire to be cranky when stuck behind an Escalade that has stopped in the middle of the road to pick up fur clad passengers in front of Peaches. If you see a tourist walking through town, offer up your best impression of a genuine grin and and maybe even compliment the cashmere sweater their pet chihuahua is sporting.  After all, Aspen is a tourist town.