7am

Freshman: Alarm clock goes off and you spring out of bed into the outfit you carefully picked out the night before. Eat a healthy breakfast and ensure all homework is in the backpack.

Senior: Snooze. Snooze again. Repeat 15 more times. Try to recall exactly how Ferris Bueller pulled it off.

8am

Freshman: Mom drops you off and insists on a kiss in front of AHS. Packed lunch in hand, you run out of the car to meet up with friends.

Senior: Decide Ferris Bueller is far more powerful than Superman… and you aren’t either of them. Finally get out of bed in the same grey sweats you wore yesterday and the day before. Skip breakfast and hitch a ride to school with a friend. Blast Cardi B’s “I Like It Like That” en route to school while silently dreading the snowy hike from the lower parking lot.

9am

Freshman: Scuttle to second period arm-in-arm with a friend, keep your head down and avoid eye contact with upperclassmen. Wonder if you’ll ever look that big.

Senior: Grab a breakfast burrito from the cafe to shut up your stomach. Wander to class and realize you know none of the underclassmen names walking past. Wonder if you ever looked that small.

10am (ACCESS)

Freshman: Meet with your math teacher to clarify how to actually use a TI-84 calculator. Check “Ask Jander how to use a TI-84 calculator” off planner.

Senior: 5-minute power nap. Senior meeting about college application deadlines. Cry in Josh Berro’s office. Check “Cry in Josh Berro’s office” off planner.

11am

Freshman: Walk into third-period class with a scary teacher, sit at an assigned seat. Comb through your backpack and pull out mechanical pencil and three pens to color-coordinate notes. Anxiously look at the clock every 30 seconds because obviously, that makes the time pass faster until lunch.

Senior: Walk into second period and greet your teacher with a subtle: “Whaddup Whit.” Debate sitting next to friends or actually being productive. Sit next to friends, obvs. Unsuccessfully request a pen from each person in the class. Spot chewed-up wooden pencil in a musty corner, this should do.

12pm (LUNCH)

Freshman: Walk into lunch and see no empty chairs at your usual table. Friends say to pull up a chair. Spot an empty chair on the other side of the yellow brick road. You decide the ground is comfortable too. Pull out apple slices and crustless PB&J with attached note from Mom: “I love you! Have a good day.” Hide the note in your pocket to avoid embarrassment.

Senior: Lie down on sticky red bean-bag on the boat. Take a bite of each friend’s lunch (assuming they have one). Text Mom: “Should I take a gap year?” No response.

12:30pm

Freshman: Chat with friends to coordinate an outfit for tomorrow. Hear a bell ringing from the mezzanine. Experience immediate PTSD from middle school bell. Notice everyone start cheering and clapping. You clap a few times and then turn back to your friend, “Anyways, which Brandy Melville shirt for tomorrow?”

Senior: THE BELL. Try to make your blood-curdling scream sound like applause. Search for a hidden portal to transport you away from this horror. Cry again in Josh Berro’s office.  

1pm

Freshman: Secretly play Fortnite on computer during class and claim to be “taking notes.”

Senior: Ditto.

2pm

Freshman: Walk into bathroom and notice a weird crackling sound followed by a cloud of smoke. Wonder if someone is doing a magic disappearing act in the bathroom stall.

Senior: Lock yourself in bathroom stall. Google “how to perform magic disappearing act from school.” Unsuccessful.

3pm

Freshman: Head to Karen Zohar’s freshman seminar class. Learn about something called an IB Diploma.

Senior: Wonder why on Earth you voluntarily pursued an IB Diploma. Ask teacher for permission to get water, walk towards Josh Berro’s office again, eyes welling with tears. Decide to be a man. Cry in Sarah Strassburger’s office instead.

4pm

Freshman: Walk around town with friends. Start homework. Download “Oovoo” and find immense joy in Facetiming the entire grade simultaneously.

Senior: Refresh Powerschool 19 times in 47 minutes to see if the teacher entered your grade yet. Open meditation app and attempt deep breaths. Refresh Powerschool again.

5pm

Freshman: Ask Dad for help with math homework. Check everything off planner.

Senior: Ask Dad for help with math homework. Dad asks what language the math homework is written in. Drive to ACT and college essay tutoring. Look at planner. Cry once more, but you don’t have Josh this time.

6pm

Freshman: Eat dinner with family and talk about the latest school gossip, who’s dating who, etc.

Senior: Start homework. Debate going downstairs when dinner smell wafts upstairs. Wait. You probably won’t starve. Grind time.

7pm

Freshman: Watch “Stranger Things.”

Senior: Watch campus tours and information videos on every single college in Southern California. Stalk @TotalFratMove on Instagram.

8pm

Freshman: Brush and floss. Get ready for bed.

Senior: Quick panic attack from amount of work you still have not done. Realize sleep is overrated. Grind time again.

9pm

Freshman: Ready tomorrow’s outfit. Snuggle under covers. Get good-night kisses from Mom.

Senior: Examine sweatpants to see if they’ll be passable for tomorrow too, despite the large stain on the leg. Get good-night kisses from Mom plus assurances it’ll all work out. You want to believe her but fear you now know too much.

10pm

Freshman: Close eyes and slowly begin drifting to sleep.

Senior: Realize you’ve been staring at the same homework assignment for 34 minutes. Chug half cup of coffee. Continue to stare at the assignment for next hour, but now you just feel jittery.

11pm

Freshmen: You dream about senior year… You wonder: Is it possible to fast-forward in real life?

Senior: Everything around you starts looking like a huge pillow. You start dreaming about freshman year… You wonder: Is it possible to rewind in real life?

12am:

Freshman: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Senior: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz