SATIRE — This week, AHS IB Psychology students ran a study on student participants to see what really goes on inside a student’s mind during class. The results were…interesting. Here are some responses.

On October 15, 2019, the class ran a study on a freshman, Johnny Richman. A phycology student, Eleanor Street, reported the results and noted, “He thought about what he was going to eat for lunch that day… Oh those freshmen,” said Street. Johnny Richman’s friend, Rick Little, confirmed the discoveries and told Street “I think a lot about lunch just like him, but wow those Senior girls I think a lot about them.”

The next day it was time for the sophomores. The study was done on Kevin Green.

Eleanor Street came back to report the results she found.

“When we looked at the results of Kevin it was crazy what he thought about. He thought about if Jimmy had a Juul he could borrow. He also wondered if his teacher would notice if he cheated on his geometry test. All we can say is good luck Kevin and hope you make it through high school,” said Street.

Billy Hill, another phycology student, was researching a junior, Jill Wicker. He announced  “She didn’t like to pay attention in class, but instead the people. She thought about the boys in her IB English class, specifically Ben Hip and if he was ever looking at her. She also really thought about Tasha Raids, and if the rumors were true that she was pregnant”, said Hill.

As Billy Hill progressed to the Senior class he decided to test on a few different students. The results were really that they all just wanted to leave.

“The Seniors didn’t pay attention one bit in class and all they thought about was when the class would be over? Things like did I forget to do my homework? Or – who is throwing the party tonight”, Hill explained.

As the results were different for every grade there was one thing in common that none of the students were thinking about the class they were in. As compensation, students are now required to attend the seminar room for the latest class – Practicing the Art of Concentration.