A great advantage of being in a relationship is the validation you receive from the compliments you get from your friends, family, and your partner, but not all compliments are considered equal. The way compliments are given or received affects your relationships. There are several types of compliments and it is important to identify the positives or the negatives.  

1. Vague Compliments

“You’re pretty” has less of an impact than “You’re one of the most creative and unique human beings I’ve ever met.” What do you appreciate about your friends or your partner? Be extremely specific. Vagueness is boring and it’s overused. Use unique word choice, instead of the same old terms that are repeated excessively.

2. Superficial Compliments

It is scientifically proven that expressing your gratitude for someone can improve your mood. You could improve your mood even more by giving more thoughtful compliments. Leave behind the typical “you’re nice” or “you’re funny” and look beneath the surface. Your compliments should reflect how you truly view your family, friends, or your partner. Just remember to articulate your admiration for all their qualities too.

3.     Excessive Compliments

Yes, compliments can be excessive and lead to an uneven balance in the relationship. When someone feels that the compliments they received were forced, it could raise questions and reduce trust in the relationship.  The best compliments are timely, genuine, and candid . Excessive praise can be discomforting, but it’s balance that counts.

Whether you are the most confident person in the world or constantly struggle with self esteem, positive reinforcement can go a long way. When we are doing a good job, we would like to hear it. When we are appreciated, we would like to know it. Giving and receiving compliments releases endorphins in our brain that makes us happy, but be sure to leave out the superficialness. Giving thought-provoking and meaningful compliments means so much more to the human spirit and our happiness as a whole.