SATIRE— After the first snowfall, local high school students began to notice the lack of a proper HVAC system in the school. In an interview with the school administration when the topic of hearing and cooling in the school came up Aspen High School’s Principal Tearin’ Blueberry took a passive approach.

“I don’t know why the teachers and students complain so much. My office is the perfect temperature,” Blueberry commented.

The Burgermeister, Vice Principal at AHS, feels that heating should not be the main issue at school.

“Students should be focused on the content they are learning- not their general comfort- when they’re in school. Maybe their complaining is actually due to a lack of brain cells from vaping all the time,” The Burgermiester said.

After a short discussion, the administration agreed that the solution to this “issue” is for students to “just not think about it”.

If they feel too hot or too cold they should consider taking a mindful minute or doing a breathing exercise they learned from the SEE curriculum.