Biden makes White House an animal shelter


Photo by WoahKinney

The White House is overrun with dogs and animal feces. Gross.

SATIRE– Pres. ByeDen’s administration has introduced new infrastructure to America since his inauguration and one of these new changes is his animal shelter. After his two rescued dogs took the internet by storm, he decided to make a bold yet wise decision to redesign the entire White House into an animal adoption shelter.

So far, the changes have been met with controversy. Some argue that the animal shelter is a sign of goodwill and benefits the environment, others argue that the animal shelter is a step too far. A White House employee was available for an exclusive interview where they took a strong stance on Pres. Byeden’s newfound hobby.

“Honestly I don’t know what’s going on anymore. They don’t clean up after the dogs here and there’s no kennels, so they just run free. Recently we started taking cats in, too, but that’s caused more issues. The dogs and the cats are constantly fighting,” AyhEight Dawgs said. “It’s worse than a mismanaged daycare full of lactose intolerant toddlers drinking milk!”

Despite the mixed messages from the public, Pres. ByeDen released a press statement defending his decisions.

“I understand some people may be concerned, but I believe that this animal shelter will not only benefit the working class but America as a whole,” Pres. ByeDen said.

Dogg GonIt, A Donald Dump supporter also commented on the new developments at the White House.
“This is a violation of my human rights!” GonIt said. “I mean, this is just another democratic ploy from the liberals to brainwash our dogs, domesticate the good American people in this country, and kill everything good in the world!”

Pres. ByeDen did actually forget he had transformed the White House into a new animal shelter for nearly a week and finally hopped on Tweeter to address his mistake.
“I’d like to apologize to my employees, colleagues, and friends,” Pres. ByeDen stated. “I totally dropped the ball, my b.”

The story will continue to develop over time. As of now, the internet has begun to cancel the term “animal shelter,” calling it “offensive” and “demeaning.” Updates still to come.