SATIRE –
Global Warming’s Not-So-Hidden Benefits
Locally, we’ve been experiencing very little snowfall, due to global warming. What many don’t understand is that contrary to the public’s opinion, there are more benefits than disadvantages in climate change.

People don’t actually like winter. The cold and snow is something that the entire population dreads everyday during the repugnant season. According to an anonymous survey, 100% of people voted they enjoy summer more than winter. The only thing winter has to offer is uncomfort and skiing. While some people enjoy skiing, the snow blowers on the mountains can help out with that. Adding onto that, all of the irrelevant AVSC skiers can just have their small slushy run that leads into the airbag. Anyone who says they prefer the cold instead of warmth; is either lying to be different, or insane

Polar bears are becoming weaker! Polar bears are an extensive threat to not only defenseless seals, but humans too. Polar bears are massive threats to humans, and while there have been twenty total deaths, yet over 60 casualties caused by polar bears. Humans being our #1 priority, are becoming safer and more relaxed around polar bears because they’re becoming skinnier and less powerful.

Endangered species reality shows can become a huge internet sensation. Polar bears, elephants, cheetahs, gorillas, and other endangered animals could all become massive parts of the world’s entertainment. Fight clubs, dating shows, competition shows; could all be watched and made into great TV shows. Entering the social aspect of entertainment, most people with less than 15 brain cells would adore watching these shows. These shows will become the top source of entertainment throughout the entire world, all due to one of our favorite aspects, climate change.