Recently spotted by AHS students attempting to do the same thing, several teachers were busted crossing the Tiehack Bridge to smoke. After being followed, it became clear that the teachers had been hiding marijuana in their undergarments to go light up together at lunch.

“Well, now that we have been caught, there is no point in trying to hide it anymore. Every lunch Ms. Smokealot, Mr. MJisgreat, Mrs. Blunt, and I go smoke. A lot, ” said Mr. Cannabis.

Upon asking the other teachers involved in the incident for an interview, this interviewer got annoyed and gave up. I got sick of hearing the same word, “dude,” over and over again and couldn’t stand the way their eyes wouldn’t open to make eye contact. After several hours of babbling about what she wants for dinner, Mrs. Blunt did eventually admit that she smokes every morning before school, during her snack break, every lunch, whenever she goes to the bathroom, before teaching any IB courses, when she gets home, after dinner and right before bed.

Most students were extremely surprised over how much their educators smoked.

“No wonder my chips keep on disappearing! Whenever Ms. Smokealot sends the class out for a bathroom break we all come back and realize our food is gone,” said Sally, who was outraged over her many lost Cheeto bags.

Due to the student and parent upheaval over the smoking incidents, the teachers have been temporarily suspended of their teaching privileges. If they please they may return in the fall under the agreement that all undergarments will be searched every morning. The teachers say they plan on making the best of it by still smoking together on a daily basis. They may even go back and smoke across the Tiehack Bridge for reminiscing purposes. Enjoy the break, beloved teachers! Hopefully we will see you in the fall. Prepare to be greeted with Cheetos by the dozens and plenty of eye drops.