SATIRE—Many AHS underclassmen who have touched the boat when no one is looking have reported a sudden drop in grades, even after studying and completing assignments.

Since the beginning of AHS there has always been the “boat” . This is the pinnacle of any AHS student’s high school career. The boat is a right of passage for students, and can only be touched as a senior. For those who wait, it brings good grades and college acceptances, but for those who do not bad luck follows.

Underclassmen joke about the boat and its mystical ability to influence luck, but little do they know that it is true.

Freshmen and sophomores struggle to understand the power behind the ‘boat’ and how touching it prematurely can have detrimental results. Leaving underclassmen at AHS on edge.

A current sophomore, Lil Pom, was an underclassman that reported these consequences the earliest.

“One day I touched the boat as a joke, the next I had an F in Art one,” Pom said.

After a freshman, Periwinkle, touched the boat. Shortly after she began failing freshman seminar.

“I have always been a good student, then I made the mistake of touching the boat….I will never do that again,” said Periwinkle.