Why I think Steve Sand is an Undercover Cop

Haley Schmela, Staff Writer|March 6, 2023

Steve Sand: a man full of smiles, laughter, and surprises. His ability to be a school business teacher and drive a Ford Mustang boggles my mind every day. We all know Steve as a business mastermind and pickleball champion; however, I have come to the conclusion that Steve is a triple threat…his final attribute being an undercover cop. Due to my new discovery, I knew I had to interview Steve to get more information. I gathered my materials and went across the hall to speak with Mr. 911.

I sat down with Sand to discuss my questions and prove he was hiding his secret job from AHS. My question made him pause and feel slightly uncomfortable.

“Steve, have you always been a highschool teacher?”

Sand quickly answered “No.”

This one-word reply made me skeptical of the reliability of his response.

The following question I asked Sand was so simple and easy to answer, yet seemed to cause him stress “ What do you do after school?”

“I walk my dogs.” This answer raised suspicion because I have never once heard Steve say he had dogs, except if I recall I think that he said he was in fact a cat person. I felt as though the topic of him being a pet owner would have come up on the week we spent together during ex ed. He must have left out that his dogs were actually named K-9 and law enforcement. I then asked a follow up question. “ Do you walk your dogs to the police station?”

He answered, “ No, I haven’t been to the police station.” He suddenly ended his sentence. I then said “since…”
“Ever.” He said as he winked discreetly.

I was on the verge of a discovery. I kept up my questioning because Steve is a prime suspect. “ Steve, would you say your favorite dessert is a donut?”
“No,” he replied, as he shut his computer with a lockscreen of a chocolate sprinkled donut.
I still was doubtful of Steve’s answers as I saw him whipping his clammy hands on his sweaty forehead.

“Steve, do you travel often?”
“Naaahhh” he first said and then quickly added a few t’s and then said, “…as much recently.”

His answer to the next question I asked was almost prime evidence that was in fact an undercover cop. “Do you like club law?”
“ Yes, I saw it in action in the morning.”
I was so confused on what he meant by morning because club law always meets at lunch. He must have meant he uses the club law statements as he pulls speeding cars over in his Ford Mustang, which is the perfect type of cop car.
“What would you say if you were to arrest someone?” I asked. Steve was very quick to recite the entire first half of the Miranda Rights. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.” He stopped so I could not catch on to his secret career. Steve’s answer to all my questions proves that he is in fact an undercover cop and is trying to bust students at AHS for cutting in the lunch line and parking in his electric vehicle spot. And now that I think about it his police costume on Halloween seemed to look a little too realistic. Hopefully I do not get arrested for exposing Steve Sand true identity, and instead, be invited to the next car chase with Cam.