This school AHS has taken the idea of change a little too seriously.

They say “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Well, students of AHS, you better start adding apples into your daily diet because we all know how hard it is to get a doctor’s note. The new attendance policy states that seven absences equal an automatic fail. Yes, don’t worry, you are allowed to go to the doctor or orthodontist, just don’t forget your note because a parent excused absence, now counts as an absence. Doctors’ notes these days are like four leaf clovers, so once you get one don’t forget to make many copies and sell them to friends – just kidding. Personally, I believe that failing a class should reflect your academic capability, not your attendance rate.

At least one positive change is that everyone’s immune systems will now be so strong due to the number of sick kids unable to take days off. Being at school with a head cold can be almost as draining as scrambling for some sort of note to get you excused. We missed hundreds of school days in 2020, so why is seven our magic number all of a sudden? Is there a chance any of us will pass? In elementary school, they gave out attendance awards. If there were big wrap gift cards to those who only missed seven days, the lack of attendance would surely decrease.

It should also be noted that AHS is now closed! Just for the underclassmen though. Freshmen and sophomores at AHS are no longer allowed to leave campus for lunch. At first, I thought this could have been a form of hazing, which honestly would make this whole situation better. However, this was sadly not bullying from upperclassmen. Even if you are able to drive, or have an upperclassmen friend or sibling, do not even think about going off campus for lunch because Paul Blart, our favorite new security guard, may only doze off by the door for so long.

Now onto “The Four B’s.” There is no need to elaborate here except that I am not referring to a report card. The new dress code at AHS keeps kids on their toes, with the idea that they could be the next suspect in a dress code investigation. Or worse, the mannequin to Becky’s 2021 DIY t-shirts. Lots of students have complaints and want it to be three b’s instead of four. Personally, I would love to add an H to the list, to make sure everyone is wearing a hard hat so that we can protect ourselves from the mass amounts of construction on campus.

Now, I might come off as aggressive and overly critical but mostly I am just confused. What was wrong with last year’s dress code, attendance policy and campus rules? I welcome change with open arms, as long as it is not modified and nothing is adjusted.