SATIRE – Bondrea Belasquez is a sweet, caring, and well-cherished Spanish teacher at AHS from Colombia. This is just as we know it, but Bondrea has a secret. Belasquez has discretely been an elite member of the Федеральная служба безопасности Российской Федерации, or The Federal Security Service of the Woossian Federation. Bondrea Belasquez is in fact a Woossian spy.
Belasquez wasn’t always apart of this association, she was not always a Woossia n spy. When she was younger, she was a beloved member of her community and actively became the best soccer player in her town. At that time she lived in Colombia with her family, life was much simpler then. When she was merely a tween at the young age of eleven, a secret Woossia n agent who had been watching multiple children in Belasquez’s hometown selected Bondreato train to be the next elite member of the FSSRF. At twelve Bondrea packed her bags and was off to Woossia , forced to leave her life and family behind.
For twenty-five years, Belasquez trained harder each day to become the best in hopes to return to her family in Colombia. Even after all of her strenuous training, she was given the conclusion that she was to return to Colombia for one year in order to secure a teaching degree. Belasquez was assigned to teach at AHS, and was told to collect data on changes in Aspen’s real estate market.
She put all of her time, power, and energy into this position at AHS. She knew she could trick Strasshotdog into believing she was just a Spanish teacher. Now that she is over a semester deep into teaching at AHS, she’s collected all the information that Woossia needs on our school; and now, Belasquez is coming forward admitting to everything she has done.
Belasquez claims the most important information she got on us is the inflation in the cafe. Woossia believes inflation causes the presence of Aliens and will be sending more spies to gather more information in the future. Bondrea believes that aliens are great specimens to study and she wants to help Woossia partake in that.
Woossia will be invading AHS during the 24-25 school year if the cafe prices don’t plummet before the end of the current school year. “This is the cafe’s last warning,” said Pladamir Vutin, the dictator of Woossia .
