As of March 22, AHS math teacher Chief Kiff opened a spray tan booth, claiming it is all that AHS needed to improve the campus.
Chief Kiff has been teaching at AHS for years but was starting to get...
It’s safe to say that for the greater part of the second semester, Wednesdays have in fact been wacky. From snowy delayed starts, unexpected gas leaks, and harmful threats against the school, Wednesdays...
@taylorswiftlvr89, Aspen High School’s beloved science teacher is not only an alumni and Harvard graduate but also the most passionate Taylor Swift Lover Aspen highschool has ever seen. Possibly too...
What began as speculation of hazing is now confirmed to be pledging. All the sick days' boys lacrosse players have called in are negative for COVID and positive for frat flu.
One may call bullshit,...
This year there will be many changes coming to the Ex-Ed program. Each year, in September, students participate in numerous different trips with their classmates. There are some outdoorsy options, such...
Ry-a-Roo, Person That’s Going Places for Sure
~ April 1, 2023
SATIRE - On June 6, 2023, the Pitkin County Courthouse has scheduled a civil trial between Wilson Walber the moose, formally a resident of Buttermilk mountain, against the defendant, Aspen Skiing Company....
Look out, the new best of all time, most incredible album ever is here! By the one and only, our fav popstar, bankrupt businessman, and president, Dumb Turnip.
Turnip’s single earlier this year, where...
Pory Carker secretly joined the 164th season of the Bachelor and took the gold - a.k.a goodbye to life and hello to wife!
Game over for all of the single ladies of Aspen who are searching for a part-time...
AI software has become increasingly popular in schools, with some educators touting its benefits for enhancing student learning and engagement. Although there are great benefits, there are several reasons...
Orange Juice, Frank Ocean’s Side Piece
~ April 1, 2023
SATIRE – On June 24, 2022, the Divided States Subordinate Court overturned Row. v. Wad, effectively dismantling an American citizen’s right to an abortion. However, this decision neglected to reflect...
In 2022 men earn an average of 2.3% of what women make. Inequitable pay began in the 1860s when people brought up the idea of “equal work, equal pay,” stating that men and women work the same amount,...
