Chipotle E Coli Outbreak: Hindering Illness or Weight Loss Opportunity for BFFs?


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Some might perceive the Chipotle Mexican Grill E Coli outbreak as an abominable mishap of what is supposed to be considered a healthy alternative for fast food. This is not the case for teen best friends Amber Shields and Katy Meyers. The two Miami, Florida, girls see it as an opportunity to lose weight.

“Here’s how I think of it: I love Chipotle,” Meyers says, pronouncing the ‘t’ in the restaurant name. “so just because some people couldn’t eat the food without pooping, like, blood out or whatever doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop eating my favorite- white rice, black beans, chicken burrito bowl with tomato salsa, lettuce, cheese and sour cream,” she said, salivating. Meyers then had to step out of the room for a moment to get herself together and came back twenty minutes later with her favorite meal.

“What was I saying? Oh right, if anything, the disease makes me want to eat there more. That way, I can lose weight easily because if I get E Coli, I’ll just poop out whatever I just ate instead of my usual method. My BFF Amber is actually sick on her toilet right now with the disease. I guess her chicken in her bowl was, like, sitting out too long.”

To further investigate, Meyers took us to visit her friend at home. As a get well gift, she brought her a bean and cheese burrito.

“I didn’t get you a bean, cheese and chicken burrito because… well you know,” Meyers greeted her friend.

“Thanks Katy! Love you biotch,” Shields replied. “Anyways, I’ve lost three and a half pounds!”

Meyers ran around frantically and jumped with joy for her friend. Her friend then ran to the bathroom due to the E Coli acting up again.

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