SATIRE — The world came crashing down Tuesday night when local mom Jill Baker brought store-bought cupcakes to the Newhaven Elementary school bake sale.

“I was desperate. I’m a terrible baker- and I just got so sick and tired of bringing my best work and having the other moms talk trash behind my back, ” Baker said. “All I wanted was for them to praise my cupcakes. I should have known they would be able to tell they were store-bought.”

Karen O’Bearing, the head of the PTA claims the incident was blasphemous and Baker should be punished accordingly.

“This is not something to be taken lightly. What Jill did is unforgivable,” O’Bearing said. “She’s a terrible mom, and I worry for her children.”

Susan Worsley, an advocate for home-baked goods, was hit especially hard from the catastrophic event when her son Billy took a bite of a store bought a cupcake and had to be rushed to the E.R. to get his stomach pumped.

“I’m just so grateful the paramedics got here in time,” Worsley said tearfully. “I almost lost him.”

Baker posted a 4-page apology on Facebook for the irreversible damage she caused. However, the other moms were quick to respond with hateful messages.

Carol Krust, Baker’s neighbor, and ex-best friend commented, “I hope she and her cupcakes burn :).”

Baker is now packing up her family and moving to Canada in hopes of new beginnings.

“I’ve learned from my mistakes, “ Baker said. “I hope those moms can forgive me one day.”