SATIRE- Following the Tide Pods fad of 2018, the latest, most popular snack among teenagers is Airpods. Unlike the juicy flavor of a Tide Pod, Airpods must be swallowed like a pill to absorb all of the sweetness. Chewing on the Airpod may result in tooth loss, although many claim the crunch is worth it.

Aspen High School student, Curious George, wanted an Airpod so badly during lunchtime he stole one out of Mames Telley’s ear.

“I chose the right ear because I knew the Airpod would have a sweeter taste. A left Airpod is a little more bitter,” George said.

George wanted the Airpod fresh out of the ear because he believed the raw taste has the most health benefits.

“The ear wax left on the Airpod adds an extra hint of sweetness that just tops off the treat,” George said.

Parents are thrilled with the healthy choices their teenagers are making. Mother and founder of Poop, Patricia Paltrow, has come up with a variety of recipes parents can now make incorporating Airpods.

“My favorite is Airpod cauliflower pizza. Once I have shaped the cauliflower dough, I will sprinkle on Airpods rather than cheese to keep the pizza dairy-free. Then, I top the pizza off with a pesto sauce,” Paltrow said.

Nutritionists across the nation have tested the chemical enzymes in your stomach to see if they react well with the magnetic field of the Airpod. These scientists discovered consumption leads to an explosion of happiness in your intestines. Nutritionist, Tracy Kale, is an advocate for eating one Airpod a day.

“If you swallow the Airpod with celery juice, it’s even better for your skin, body, and hair. An Apple Airpod a day keeps the doctor away!” Kale said.