SATIRE- One of the many groups of AHS, the corridor kids, has been scheming up a plan to take over the commons during lunch. They created a clear-cut way to take down every clique, one by one. First was the Freshman, the easiest bait to catch in the commons.

Freshman student, Cloud Tosna, noticed a group of corridor kids streaking in the hallway.

“I saw all of the corridor kids streaking in the hallway, and I gathered all of the Freshman to join in. When we tried to get back into the commons, we couldn’t because the doors were all locked,” Tosna said.

Next up during the takedown was the Sweepers. AHS student, Juul God, was lured out of the commons by the corridor kid’s explicit plan.

“Some kid ran into the commons and said they were providing free Juul pods in the upstairs bathroom. The rest of the sweepers and I ran there as fast as we could,” God said.

The corridor kids claimed a little more planning went into evacuating the Chill Tribe. Each night, the Chill Tribe chooses coordinated outfits to wear to school. A corridor member hijacked their phones the previous night and told each one of them a different outfit theme for the next day. Chill Tribe member, Chanel #1, ran out of the commons crying when she realized her outfit did not match up with the rest of the tribe.

“We all walked into the commons and saw that our outfits didn’t match up. None of us knew how this catastrophe occurred. I was wearing Louis Vuitton, and Chanel #2 was wearing Gucci\; it was a disaster,” Chanel #1 said.

Since the Scooters didn’t eat lunch in the commons, the Day Whispers and the Ultimate Frisbee Boys were the next targets. Member of the Day Whisperers and Ultimate Frisbee Boys, Togan Fantaberg, was told the Skier Bus was outside, ready to take the boys to a barbershop to get matching mullets and notched eyebrows.

“When I heard the bus was outside to take us to a barbershop, I had to get the boys immediately. Having the same haircut and notched eyebrows is extremely important for the team and our Day Whisperer’s Instagram account,” Fantaberg said.

Corridor kid at AHS, John Smith, was thrilled when he finally accomplished the commons takeover.

“All we wanted was to eat lunch in the commons without those other strange groups. Our mission was successful, and now the commons is ours!” Smith said.