SATIRE--Freezing cold temperatures have taken over the state of Texas. Many residents are losing power and freezing water is bursting pipes. Reports are saying the temperatures were as low as 20 to 30...
SATIRE
Aries: (March 21 - April 19)
So...you’re in Aries. One of your catch phrases is ‘fight me’, and the truth is you actually will! You’ve got the passion for a lifetime, so put that into...
Ava Thornely, Social Media Specialist
• April 1, 2021
SATIRE - BREAKING NEWS! Students have disappeared from their classes with no hint as to where they have gone. After requesting a bathroom break, students neglected to return to their classes, but where...
SATIRE-- Born between 1995-2009, Gen Z is the iconic child of Gen X. Also known as the 'iGen', we grew up in an electronic world, where toddlers knew how to operate an iPhone better than their parents.
We...
Ava Thornely, Social Media Specialist
• April 1, 2021
SATIRE- Aspen High School alum Richy Rich recently contacted all AHS students and persuaded them all to invest in Walmark stock. The email read
Yo Aspen High School,
It's your boy Richy Rich you might...
SATIRE -- Due to COVID-19, Don Trunk has added to the national list of event cancellations to help follow the stay at home guidelines. On Saturday, April 11th, President Trunk delivered a speech regarding...
SATIRE - Just recently, AHS teachers received a salary increase of one million dollars per year. A couple of weeks ago, for an unknown reason, forty teachers requested substitutes on the exact same day...
SATIRE - AHS junior, Alex Honeycrisp, and four of his friends were recently caught selling ExEd points. The case will be taken to the U.S. Supreme Court in late March. The five suspects were caught cornering...
SATIRE - Due to the recent shortage of substitute teachers, the administration has had to come up with creative solutions, most notably, Toad, the service dog of ASD, becoming a substitute teacher.
SATIRE...
SATIRE - Horoscope
Aries: I know that you are the first sign, just don't get all cocky, it doesn't make you better.
Taurus:
The stars are saying that you don’t like change, so I suggest that you...
SATIRE---Some new information has been leaked on Chinese twitter about new information about the real source of the coronavirus outbreak, Two months before Russian spies infiltrated 3 labs in a 30-mile...
