SATIRE- The clubs for our school that is made in September have been well put together but rising out of the depth this beginning of the semester has been something that no AHS student expected.
Over...
SATIRE-ASPEN HIGH SCHOOL, CO --- AHS senior Billiams has been hospitalized after a dance-off between JV and Varsity math classes.
The incident happened Thursday morning after Varsity member, Judy Sanchez,...
SATIRE- Readers may know the catchy tune by Billie Eilish, “Bad Guy,” as it won countless Grammy’s during the summer of 2019. However, some have argued that an up-and-coming artist, Screed, is threatening...
SATIRE- One of the many groups of AHS, the corridor kids, has been scheming up a plan to take over the commons during lunch. They created a clear-cut way to take down every clique, one by one. First was...
SATIRE— After the first snowfall, local high school students began to notice the lack of a proper HVAC system in the school. In an interview with the school administration when the topic of hearing and...
SATIRE--PowerSchool, the software used at Aspen School district to manage records and grades online, has reportedly caused over 200 students to be hospitalized due to injuries from distractions caused...
SATIRE-- Following a recent interview with Fake News, has come clean about his respect for women. The White House is now skeptical of Trump’s motives and why it took him so long to admit his love for...
SATIRE - The new cell phone policy created by the AHS administration has swept through every class in high school this year. Phone pockets have been placed at the back of each classroom for students to...
SATIRE- At the start of the 2019-2020 school year, a new deal was struck between AHS seniors and incoming freshmen. This transaction was proposed by the class of 2023 shortly after their “Move Up”...
SATIRE---While Wikileaks investigators were initially looking for incriminating evidence between Drumpf and Russian contacts, what they ended up finding was a love affair with nonother than Horace Lawson...
SATIRE---In a recent staff meeting, AHS’s new coffee shop was briefly introduced, leaving teachers thrilled about the idea of getting their morning cup of joe at school. However, not everyone was entirely...
SATIRE---Many AHS underclassmen who have touched the boat when no one is looking have reported a sudden drop in grades, even after studying and completing assignments.
Since the beginning of AHS there...
